'I Always Play The Christmas Tree' Funny Nativity Poem for Kids
- Mark Bird
- Nov 30, 2025
- 2 min read
I based this funny Christmas nativity poem for kids on an old joke from school. I better not say too much in case I give the ending away.
Can you guess the ending of this nativity poem for kids before you get to it?
Click to see how this brilliant Christmas tree was made.
I Always Play The Christmas Tree
Every Christmas since Year 3
when we do Nativity
why does every teacher see
I’m only good for playing trees
Never had a single line
Draped in crepe to play a pine
Wound in tissue-paper twine
My painted face, a shade of slime
Loo roll angels on my head
Ping pong baubles dangle red
No one ever hears me beg
Oh can’t I play the cow instead
Now though, made of sterner stuff
I’m Year 6, I’ve had enough
Got a plan, I’m really chuffed
Tonight I’ll be a cut above
Play the part I want to be
that in all Nativities
I often hear but never see
tonight that part belongs to me …
On the stage, I stand and wait
Grinning, I anticipate
How the crowd, I’ll captivate
How teachers will all gasp, He’s great!
Entering from stage left, they stir
Two wise men, without a word
bearing gifts of gold and myrrh
and I’m about to play the third
Shuffling to the front, I tear
loo roll angels from my hair
Throwing crepe into the air
until at last, I’m standing there
Stitches scarred across my brow
Glaring with a green-faced scowl
Shepherds scream beneath tea towels
my bolted neck makes Mary howl
Finally I say my line:
Baby Jesus so divine
guided by a star that shines
I come here bearing Frankenstein
Mark Bird
Enjoyed this poem? Discover more season and celebration poems for children on my Poems for Kids page.
Cartoon by Peter Nesbit
Share your own funny Christmas nativity poem for kids in the Comments below.
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