'I Always Play The Christmas Tree' Funny Nativity Poem for Kids
- Mark Bird
- Dec 8, 2024
- 2 min read
Updated: Dec 11, 2024
I based this funny Christmas nativity poem for kids on an old joke from school. I better not say too much in case I give the ending away.
Can you guess the ending of this nativity poem for kids before you get to it?
Click to see how this brilliant Christmas tree was made.
I Always Play The Christmas Tree
Every Christmas since Year 3
when we do Nativity
why does every teacher see
I’m only good for playing trees
Never had a single line
Draped in crêpe to play a pine
Wound in tissue-paper twine
My painted face, a shade of slime
Loo roll angels on my head
Ping pong baubles dangle red
No one ever hears me beg
Oh can’t I play the cow instead
Now though made of sterner stuff
I’m Year 6, I’ve had enough
Got a plan, I’m really chuffed
Tonight I’ll be a cut above
Play the part I want to be
that in all Nativities
I often hear but never see
tonight that part belongs to me …
On the stage, I stand and wait
Grinning, I anticipate
How the crowd, I’ll captivate
How teachers will all gasp, He’s great!
Entering from stage left, they stir
Three wise men, without a word
bearing gifts of gold and myrrh
and I’m about to play the third
Shuffling to the front, I tear
loo roll angels from my hair
Throwing crêpe into the air
until at last, I’m standing there
Stitches scarred across my brow
Glaring with a green-faced scowl
Shepherds scream beneath tea towels
my bolted neck makes Mary howl
Finally I say my line:
Baby Jesus so divine
guided by a star that shines
I come here bearing Frankenstein
Mark Bird
Cartoon by Peter Nesbit
Share your own funny Christmas nativity poem for kids in the Comments below.
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