🍪 Crumbs: Best In Show – A Poetic Biscuit Poem Tribute for #NationalBiscuitDay
- Mark Bird
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
Every biscuit deserves its moment to shine – and what better stage than Crumbs, my imaginary biscuit version of Crufts. Inspired by the world of dog shows, I imagined a line-up of beloved biscuits all vying for "Best in Show" – from the proud Hobnob and sharp Bourbon to the sentimental Custard Cream. My poem, Crumbs: Best In Show, was baked with love (and a generous sprinkle of wordplay) to celebrate some of Britain’s best-loved teatime treats.
I’ve always had a soft spot for Custard Creams – humble, sweet and often underestimated. But when compared to the tart attitude of a Jammy Dodger or the zesty flair of a Lemon Puff, I started to wonder: would she stand a chance with the judges? The poem is a playful nod to the diversity and personality we attribute to our favourite biscuits – a crunchy celebration of nostalgia, flavour, and fun.
Whether you're loyal to the Bourbon or partial to a Ginger Nut, Crumbs: Best In Show is my way of raising a poetic toast to National Biscuit Day. So this 29th May, dunk your favourite, savour the moment, and maybe imagine your own biscuit beauty pageant!
Crumbs: Best In Show
I’ve always dreamed
of entering Custard Cream
for ‘Best In Show’ at Crumbs
but I’m scared she lacks
Garibaldi’s class
Bourbon’s bite
Hobnob’s pride
Dodger’s heart
Cherry’s tart
Ginger’s punch
Cookie’s crunch
or the citrus tang
the judges loved
of last year’s winner
Lemon Puff
Mark Bird
#NationalBiscuitDay #CrumbsBestInShow #CustardCreams #JammyDodgers #BourbonBiscuits #Biscuits #BiscuitPoem #MarkBirdPoetry #FunnyPoemsForKids #BiscuitCompetition #PoemsAboutFood
Poetry Teaching Ideas for Teachers and Kids:
Get your pens (and tummies) ready—because it’s time to turn your favourite foods into poetic stars! Start by imagining your favourite biscuit or snack as a character: what kind of personality would a Custard Cream have? Is a Bourbon biscuit brave or brooding? Write a poem where your biscuit enters a competition, goes on an adventure, or argues with other snacks in the cupboard. Or zoom in closer: describe the crunch, the gooey centre, or the feeling you get when you take the first bite. Try using rhyme, repetition, or alliteration to capture the flavours and fun. Whether it’s a heroic Hobnob, a jammy Jammy Dodger, or a shy slice of cake, let your food come alive through your imagination and words!
📝 Crumbs: Best In Show – Creative Writing & Poetry Worksheet 🍪Inspired by the biscuit poem by Mark Bird
1. Biscuit Biography (Biscuit Poem)
Choose a biscuit (or any favourite food) and write a short biography for it as if it were a real person or pet.
What’s its name?
What’s its personality like?
Does it have a catchphrase, a talent, or a secret fear?
2. Best in Show Poem
Imagine your biscuit is entering the Crumbs competition – who are its rivals? What makes it special?Write a performance-style poem using this structure:
2 lines about how it looks
2 lines about its flavour
2 lines about why it should win
A final line that ends with a crunch!
3. Tasty Debate!
Write a mini-play or poem in which two or more biscuits (or other snacks) argue about who deserves to be called the nation’s favourite.Example:“I’m jam-packed with love!” shouts the Dodger.“You’re too soft!” barks Bourbon with a snap.
4. Food Adventures
Imagine your favourite snack runs away from the kitchen – where does it go?Write a short story or poem called The Great Biscuit Escape! or The Day My Snack Came Alive.
5. Descriptive Deliciousness
Use your senses to write a food description that makes readers hungry!
What does your food look like?
How does it smell?
What sound does it make when bitten?
What memories or feelings does it bring?
Challenge Prompt (Optional Extension):Invent a brand-new biscuit!
What’s it called?
What flavours and textures does it have?
Write a short advert or jingle to persuade people to try it.
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