"Miseducate" A prefix themed poem about a long line of crazy teachers

Updated: Nov 3

Realising it has been two weeks since I have written a poem, and with my mind gone blank, I delved into my endless ideas-bank going back years. The original of this poem, which will never be shared (it really was that bad), was about a man looking for a date with a string of surreal characters.


Here is the new and improved version about a dysfunctional, long line of teachers in a school.


All the poor child wants is an education. But will he get it?



Miseducate


We’ve had so many teachers

Not one, have I admired

I need an education

but they keep getting fired


“Let’s start with Bathematics!”

the first recruit announced

“This afternoon is Thinglish.”

So sacked, was Miss Pronounce


The next taught us times tables

“Yes, one times one is eight.

Three squared of course is thirteen!”

So long, Miss Calculate


The next, she lost her glasses

We sighed, “They’re on your face.”

She yelled, “Don’t be so stupid!”

So bon voyage Miss Place


“You must engage the children!

Yes each and every child”

the head told our new tutor

“No probs!” she said and smiled


On bended knee she begged us

Put rings on every hand

“My dears, let’s all get married”

Goodbye, Miss Understand


So then arrived my favourite

who from the front, head-shaved

Stuck out her tongue and bum-burped

I’ll miss old Miss Behave


Miss Trust she called us liars

Miss Hear swore we swore

Miss Read, Miss Take, Miss Spelling

should be the final straw


But I’m not giving up yet

It never is too late

Tomorrow may be better

with young Miss Educate


Mark Bird



Teaching ideas: Here is the list of all my 'Miss' characters that I considered for the poem. I'm sure you can think of loads more. Children could create their own surreal and crazy teachers, turning the prefix mis- into Miss.

Miss Fortunate

Miss Handle

Miss Calculate

Miss Behave

Miss Pronounce

Miss Understand

Miss Hear

Miss Spell

Miss Read

Miss Judge

Miss Lead

Miss Trust

Miss Shape

Miss Take

Miss Appropriate

Miss Interpret

Miss Giving


Miss Laid

Miss Taken

Miss Manage

Miss Conception

Miss Perception

Miss Spend

Miss Advise

Miss Belief