Updated: Nov 3
Realising it has been two weeks since I have written a poem, and with my mind gone blank, I delved into my endless ideas-bank going back years. The original of this poem, which will never be shared (it really was that bad), was about a man looking for a date with a string of surreal characters.
Here is the new and improved version about a dysfunctional, long line of teachers in a school.
All the poor child wants is an education. But will he get it?
We’ve had so many teachers
Not one, have I admired
I need an education
but they keep getting fired
“Let’s start with Bathematics!”
the first recruit announced
“This afternoon is Thinglish.”
So sacked, was Miss Pronounce
The next taught us times tables
“Yes, one times one is eight.
Three squared of course is thirteen!”
So long, Miss Calculate
The next, she lost her glasses
We sighed, “They’re on your face.”
She yelled, “Don’t be so stupid!”
So bon voyage Miss Place
“You must engage the children!
Yes each and every child”
the head told our new tutor
“No probs!” she said and smiled
On bended knee she begged us
Put rings on every hand
“My dears, let’s all get married”
Goodbye, Miss Understand
So then arrived my favourite
who from the front, head-shaved
Stuck out her tongue and bum-burped
I’ll miss old Miss Behave
Miss Trust she called us liars
Miss Hear swore we swore
Miss Read, Miss Take, Miss Spelling
should be the final straw
But I’m not giving up yet
It never is too late
Tomorrow may be better
with young Miss Educate
Teaching ideas: Here is the list of all my 'Miss' characters that I considered for the poem. I'm sure you can think of loads more. Children could create their own surreal and crazy teachers, turning the prefix mis- into Miss.