King Cream stamped one his udders. “Who’s there? Who’s that giggling?"
Behind an enormous rock, two young Mooonstaliens were playing. Kezo and Yax hadn’t listened to a word King Cream had said. Grown ups made as much sense to them, as footballs made of fried eggs. The two brothers poked their heads up and ducked down again quickly. “No use hiding. Get yourselves to the front.” Kezo and Yax hopped through the crowd. The king bent forwards and picked each boy up by his bendy horn. “So you’re volunteering to go to Earth?”
Kezo and Yax looked at each other and shrugged. King Cream growled. “I said - you’re volunteering to go to Earth!”
The children saw a galaxy of squinting eyes. They gulped. “OK, we’ll go to Planet Birth.” Everyone cheered.
The king sat the boys down. “Now, repeat after me... Pla-net Earth.”
“Pla-net. Earth,” they said proudly.
“And you’re going to find us a lovelicious milk bath.” King Cream said.
“And you’re going to find us a lovelicious milk bath.”
The king grumbled and prodded each boy in turn. “No! YOU are going to find a lovelicious bath.” Kezo nodded and explained to his younger brother. “You’ll be Moonstalien heroes.”
“But how do we get there?” asked Yax.
“Using The Moonstalien Munch-Magic of course," said the king. "Don't they teach you anything at school these days?” Kezo looked at Yax and shook his head. “It’s simple - whatever you gobble gives you gloritastical powers.”
“So, if we ate a black hole,” said Yax, “we’d be able to suck up stars and light and maybe the whole universe until nothing is left - not even a moondust mite or a doughnut hole?”
“Well... erm... I suppose so. Follow me and I’ll show you.” King Cream bounced through the winding tunnels. Kezo, Yax and the Moonstaliens hopped behind until everyone was gathered on the moon’s surface.
The king pointed his corkscrew tail at the blue planet in the distance. “Earth,” he said. “The milky planet that may save our lives.” He stood in front of the brothers. “So you understand your mission? Find milk, send us a signal, and we’ll join you for the most awesational milk bath ever.”
“But what if there isn’t any?” asked Yax.
The Moonstaliens stared at the craters beneath their udder boots. King Cream bit his bottom lip and searched his brain. All he saw were cobwebs and an old sock. “We’ll worry about that later.”
“But what about the Earthlings? You said they might be dangerous,” said Kezo.
The King grinned and opened a small cow-hair box. A puff of sparkles escaped from inside. The crowd gasped. “Behold! Two ancient dung-nuggets.” King Cream twisted them onto the boys’ corkscrew tails. “Keep them very safe. Their magic is said to make wishes come true. If there’s trouble, chuck one into an Earthling’s gob and run for it.”
Kezo peered at the lump spiked onto his tail. “Why can’t we just eat one and wish for a lake of milk.”
The King gritted his teeth. “Because they don’t work on us!”
“But how do you know?” asked Yax
“I tried one!” the King said. “All I got was an afternoon stuck on the toilet. Believe me, it wasn’t a wish come true. Now enough with the questions.”
King Cream bounced high into the starry space. He twisted his tail and unscrewed a cork of passing cloud. He landed and pushed two candy-floss clumps into the boys' mouths. Kezo and Yax started to float as the munch-magic tornadoed around their bodies.
The Moonstaliens bounced onto a nearby crater. “Good luck. We know you can do it.” King Cream yelled. “Eat these too.” He lobbed two, massive Earth dictionaries over the edge. As the boys chomped, billions of words and pictures flashed through their brains.
The boys locked horns as they floated away. The clouds inside them turned grey and then black. A storm brewed and exploded in their tummies. Each clap of thunder sent them spinning through space. Every strike of lightning sent them zooming closer to Earth.