Mathematic Mick



I am Mathematic Mick

I love my five times table

From 9 at school I chant it loud

Until the end of day bell


English on the other hand

Is full of silly rules

An alphabet for dummies

Making sentences for fools


Whoever figured twenty six

had brains of mashed potato

2 thirteens is bad luck twice

5² is less but greater


From this day on, forever more

I do hereby propose

An alphabet of twenty-five

I'd cope with one of those


As if one letter, miniscule

A squiggle-line, a scrawl

Will make much difference anyway

I’d like to drop them all!


The gang of vowels all can stay

As there are five of those

An extraordinary digit!

Just ask your hands and toes


It’s clear the one to get the boot

Obese for all to see

A wobbling, clowning piece of text

Get rid of letter B!


And now we have that sorted out

I, Mathematical Mike

Will tell you all about myself

The things I really like


I love...


#eating up my cousins

The #rain that’s in my head

Racing round on #icycles

Runny #oiled eggs


I love...Making dens in #oxes

My eyes tremendous #rows

Giving #roaches to my nan

To pin upon her #louse


I love...


Skidding in a #lizzard

Deep electric #lues

Walking my pet #eagle Jill

Grizzly #ears in zoos


I love...


#owls filled with ice-cream

Fixing PC #lips

Spiking up my sun-#leached hair

#ooing when girls skip


So the end’s a happy one

The alpha#et revived

So much neater than #efore

Hooray for five times five



Very glad it all makes sense

And such an easy chore

Why don't we keep su#tracting?

Exterminate five more!


©2009 Mark Bird


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