Wrong Cake: Warning! Rude Poem for Kids

Wrong Cake!

Last Friday was my birthday

The grand old age of ten

But I was still a baby

Compared to granddad Den

For he had reached a hundred

But still was full of gripes

He rolled his card from Queeny

And with it, lit his pipe

So banned from Granddad's party

Next door I had my own

The mums and kids, we waited

The clown had still not shown

My uncles readied their surprise

To make old granddad smile

His huge cake held a secret

They wheeled him down the aisle

But still old granddad moaned and groaned

The men they counted down

But saucy giggles disappeared

When out there popped a clown

The truth it dawned on Uncle Bill

As grandad huffed, then snored

“There’s been a blimmin’ mix up,

I’ve got to get next door!”

Meanwhile crowds of mummies

With cameras poised to flash

All cooing, “Ooo,” at my big cake

As Bill made his mad dash

We counted down excitedly

My best friends Lil and Brady

But gasps of horror filled the air

When out, there popped a lady

She wasn’t like a normal clown

Forgotten most her clothes

Except her tinsel tassels

She had on both of those

Felt sad for glamorous lady

As mummies scorned and croaked

So covered up her goosebumps

With my Harry Potter cloak

Then Uncle Bill barged in the room

“I'm sorry - My mistake!”

Mums and kids fled from the door

He begged and squalled, “Wrong cake!"

Down garden path they tutted

“That filthy family's rough!”

But glamour girl and me had fun

Played tag and blind man's buff

Bill ordered her a taxi

I said, "Thanks for my surprise."

She winked and gave my cloak back

Making sure to hide my eyes

Bill sighed and then apologised

I told him, “Don’t be down.”

And asked if next year I could have

Another lady clown

©2009 Mark Bird