Last Friday was my birthday
The grand old age of ten
But I was still a baby
Compared to granddad Den

For he had reached a hundred
But still was full of gripes
He rolled his card from Queeny
And with it, lit his pipe

So banned from Granddad's party
Next door I had my own
The mums and kids, we waited
The clown had still not shown

My uncles readied their surprise
To make old granddad smile
His huge cake held a secret
They wheeled him down the aisle

But still old granddad moaned and groaned
The men they counted down
But saucy giggles disappeared
When out there popped a clown

The truth it dawned on Uncle Bill
As grandad huffed, then snored
“There’s been a blimmin’ mix up,
I’ve got to get next door!”

Meanwhile crowds of mummies
With cameras poised to flash
All cooing, “Ooo,” at my big cake
As Bill made his mad dash

We counted down excitedly
My best friends Lil and Brady
But gasps of horror filled the air
When out, there popped a lady

She wasn’t like a normal clown
Forgotten most her clothes
Except her tinsel tassels
She had on both of those

Felt sad for glamorous lady
As mummies scorned and croaked
So covered up her goose bumps
With my Harry Potter cloak

Then Uncle Bill barged in the room
“I'm sorry - My mistake!”
Mums and kids fled from the door
He begged and squalled, “Wrong cake!"

Down garden path they tutted
“That filthy family's rough!”
But glamour girl and me had fun
Played tag and blind mans buff

Bill ordered her a taxi
I said, "Thanks for my surprise."
She winked and gave my cloak back
Making sure to hide my eyes

Bill sighed and then apologised
I told him, “Don’t be down.”
And asked if next year I could have
Another lady clown

©2009 Mark Bird