Back To School: A funny back to school poem for kids with a twist at the end

Back To School

“Get up Sue - it’s back to school.
New term starts today.
You’ve shiny shoes,
your pens are new,
your friends are on their way.”

“I’m staying in bed - I hate that place.
They bully me and swear.
They call me Geek,
say I'm a freak,
and laugh at what I wear.”

“Get in the car, I’ll take you Sue,
or else you will be late.
I’ve packed your lunch,
your hair is bunched.
You'll see your bestie Kate!”

“I've told you Mum, a million times!
She left our school last term.
Now let me out,
I’ll scream and shout.
School rules just make me squirm.”

“Shush now dear - we’re at the gate.
The kids will point and stare.
Tongues will wag,
now grab your bag -
the deputy's over there.”

“He’s the worst - he picks on me.
He says my brain’s a bean.
He calls me fat,
and things like that.
Says I’m a drama queen.”

“Sue, he’s coming over now.
Behave yourself my dear.
Get out the boot!
My gosh he's cute.
Stop crying - he might hear!”

“I haven't done my homework Mum.
Sir will go insane.
Please write a note,
and say a goat,
devoured it in Spain.”

“Right that’s it - I’ve had enough.
Get in that playground do.
Now hide your tongue,
you must be strong.
You are the Head now Sue!”

©2009 Mark Bird


💡 Literacy & Poetry Lesson Ideas for Teachers:

Teachers can use my Back to School poem as a lively springboard into poetry, drama and PSHE activities. As a Back To School poem for kids, it opens up conversations about worries, friendships, and confidence at the start of a new term. Children could act out the different voices in the poem, exploring tone, expression and body language, before writing their own humorous ‘back to school’ verses from the perspective of a parent, teacher or even a school bag. Pupils might design comic-strip versions of the poem, illustrating the twists and surprises in each stanza. In circle time, the class could discuss the serious themes hidden in the humour, such as bullying, self-esteem and resilience, then create positive advice posters for younger pupils. The playful ending also lends itself to creative role-play, where children imagine what it would be like if they suddenly became Headteacher for a day – what rules would they make, and why?