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Mathematic Mike

ABC is written but the letter B wearing a clown nose and hat is crossed out

Hello, I’m Mathematic Mike
I love my five times table
At school I sing it loud and proud
to show the world I’m able

English on the other hand
is full of silly rules
An alphabet for dummies
making sentences for fools

Whoever figured twenty six
had brains of mashed potato
Two thirteens is bad luck twice
5² is less but greater

From this day on, forever more
I do hereby propose
an alphabet of twenty-five
I'd cope with one of those

As if one letter, minuscule
A squiggle-line, a scrawl
will make much difference anyway
I’d like to drop them all!

The gang of vowels all can stay
as there are five of those
An extraordinary digit!
Just ask your hands and toes

It’s clear the one to get the boot
Obese for all to see
A wobbling, clowning piece of text
Get rid of letter B!

And now we have that sorted out
Let me, your clever Mike
share with you what makes me tick
and what I really like …

I love...

*eating all my family at
the ten pin *owling alley
riding my new *icycle
an *elly full of jelly

I love...

Hiding from my *cousin *ill
inside a giant *ox
Walking my pet *eagle Jill
my good friends *laze and *rock

I love …

*owls filled with soft ice cream
and *arm cakes, freshly *aked
*udgies, *ugs and grizzly *ears
*anana flavoured shake

So the end’s a happy one
The alpha*et revived
So much *etter than *efore
Hooray for five times five

©2009 Mark Bird

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