Mathematic Mike: Lipogram Poem for Kids

Mathematic Mike

Hello, I’m Mathematic Mike

I love my five times table

At school I sing it loud and proud

to show the world I’m able

English on the other hand

is full of silly rules

An alphabet for dummies

making sentences for fools

Whoever figured twenty six

had brains of mashed potato

Two thirteens is bad luck twice

5² is less but greater

From this day on, forever more

I do hereby propose

an alphabet of twenty-five

I'd cope with one of those

As if one letter, minuscule

A squiggle-line, a scrawl

will make much difference anyway

I’d like to drop them all!

The gang of vowels all can stay

as there are five of those

An extraordinary digit!

Just ask your hands and toes

It’s clear the one to get the boot

Obese for all to see

A wobbling, clowning piece of text

Get rid of letter B!

And now we have that sorted out

Let me, your clever Mike

share with you what makes me tick

and what I really like …

I love...

*eating all my family at

the ten pin *owling alley

riding my new *icycle

an *elly full of jelly

I love...

Hiding from my *cousin *ill

inside a giant *ox

Walking my pet *eagle Jill

my good friends *laze and *rock

I love …

*owls filled with soft ice cream

and *arm cakes, freshly *aked

*udgies, *ugs and grizzly *ears

*anana flavoured shake

So the end’s a happy one

The alpha*et revived

So much *etter than *efore

Hooray for five times five

©2009 Mark Bird