dreambeast poems
  inspirational poems for kids by mark c bird

love for a child - jason mraz

family portrait - pink

Harriet Half

 

 

Have you ever heard of Harriet Half?

She’d more than a curious name

Identity torn from her day of birth

Peculiar life just the same

 

Her mum always dressed her left side in pink

Her daddy the right side in blue

So half of the child in make-up and heels

The other with stick-on tattoos

 

When Harri arrived, the first day of school

The playground fell silent with shock

With half looking smart in Dad's old grey suit

And half with a pigtail and frock

 

In class the halves fought, confused & distraught

First Pinky shoved Blue to the shelf

Then Bluey got mad and landed a punch

Poor Harriet beat up herself

 

The teacher leapt in to stop the strange fight

Suggested the kids needed space,

'You know what’ll cheer you up Harriet Half?

A jolly, old game of kiss chase!'

 

But chaos tornadoed around the school grounds

As Harri rampaged on the wild

Not knowing the rules, she slobbered and kissed

Regardless the sex of the child

 

The head teacher watched, bemused from above

While slurping her cucumber crush

And finally phoned the parents at home

Suggesting it best if they rush

 

The parents arrived - were ordered to sit

Ms. Glugg said, 'You're both a disgrace.'

She pointed at Harri - pale and perturbed,

'Just look at her semi-sad face!'

 

'There's no need to worry,' Mum said and smiled,

'we’re going to file for divorce.

You could choose who with, you'd rather go live,

we'd still have to go through the courts.'

 

Pure fury and grief united the halves

And Harri spoke out with a shriek

'For three and a half days, I'll live with my mum,

and Dad for the rest of the week.'

 

'But we know a way to fix this for good.'

Their eyeballs were rolling and mad

'That means you can spend each week with your mum'

'And every week too with your dad.'

 

Young Harriet’s head fell into her hands

Her barbecued brain in a stew

'As if I can live with both,' she cried out.

'You hardly can cut me in two!'

 

One last deep breath, a wink and a nod

The sign to begin their cruel plan

Mum pulled a chainsaw out of her bag

and Dad drew his sword from Japan

 

Head first through the window, dived old Ms. Glugg

As Harriet said one last prayer

Then Mum and Dad split their daughter in two

As she shook and prayed on the chair

 

Now just once a year on birthdays they meet

The two angry halves, left and right

They scrap and they bout to blow candles out

They slap and they kick and they bite

 

So Harriet Half spends her whole life in two

Both feeling the guilt and the shame

And as is the case for most broken kids -

We really all know who's to blame

 

©2009 Mark C Bird

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