Xmas comes but once year

Christmas Comes But Once a Year


Christmas comes but once a year
The day my dad drinks too much beer


Mum gets stressed, her nerves all jerky
Glugs red wine and burns the turkey


Sister feeds her face with chocs
Turning white, pukes on her socks


Doggy chomps on stale mince pies
Making smells that sting your eyes


Granddad starts to dance and rap
Spits his teeth into my lap


Nan says Mum's too good for Dad
And should have wed that other lad


Aunty Babs loves mistletoe
And kissing with my Uncle Joe


The fighting starts. The yearly strife
'Cos Babs is Uncle Tommy's wife


The neighbours bang upon the walls
As Uncle Joe and Tommy brawl


Aunty Babs pretends she's sad
And goes outside to find my dad


Daddy burps, falls on the floor
As Mum and Gran walk out the door


Nana tuts, 'I told you so.'
As Dad and Babs roll in the snow


Mummy grabs my sis and me

And off we're dragged to Nan's for tea


Dad keeps phoning all night long
Telling Mum she's got it wrong


We go back home at ten that night
The house is a disastrous sight


But Christmas comes just once a year
The fights, the bird and too much beer


All my friends say it's a shame

My every Christmas is the same


But that's the way it's always been
And as we all help Mummy clean


We laugh – Mum, Dad and Sis and me
A kind of happy family


'Life's not perfect,' Daddy cheers
and we all smile from ear to ear


At least we know on this one night
We've got a year to get it right


©2010 Mark C Bird

christmas tree hero
miracle ant
christmas revenge
christmas metaphor
mum's kissing santa again
christmas comes but once a year
my christmas wish
christmas crackers